2nd Full Moon Award Goes to Mr. Idiot

Yesterday, I was fully prepared to hand out the Full Moon Award to a fellow from Florida that assaulted 3 women with a 4 foot sword and a peanut butter sandwich, but this morning’s news provided an idiot of higher degree.  Meet Mahiedine Mekhissi-Benabbad, a French runner.

Mekhissi-Benabbad (pronounced “Idiot” in English) celebrated his 3,000 meter race win in Helsinki, Finland by abusing the event’s mascot known as “Appy.”  As it turns out, Appy is a 14 year old girl.  Mr. Idiot knocked a gift bag out of her hands and shoved her around.  Not very classy.  One can only hope whatever sanctioning body exists for races of this type will permanently ban Mr. Idiot.

2nd Full Moon Award Nominees Sought

Tomorrow I will hand out the second Full Moon Award.  Our first recipient was most deserving.  If you know of someone who has earned this special recognition, pass along his or her story.  A couple of people have already committed acts worthy of nomination.  First, a guy pulled a knife on a convenience store clerk and threatened to stab him unless he handed over a beer.  Not to be outdone, a Winter Haven, Florida man attacked three women with a 4 foot sword and a peanut butter sandwich.  Yes, you read that correctly.  A peanut butter sandwich.  Must be the full moon. 


Full Moon Award

Crazy occurences are often blamed on the full moon.  Neighbor disputes turned bad, spouses going crazy over nothing, coworkers in pissy moods, etc.  Likewise, while working my way through law school as a deputy sheriff, inmate misbehavior was often blamed on lunar movement.  Regardless of the particular circumstances of the weird behavior, the person telling the story would say something along the lines of “must be the full moon” to ascribe a reason to the behavior.    In fact, the term lunatic derives from lunaticus meaning “of the moon” or “moonstruck.” 

Growing up, about the only thing I have always understood the full moon to affect is when the bream and crappie spawn.  Opinions on whether or not this is the case vary so I take an optimistic middle of the road approach.  If I am fishing on a full moon, I tell myself the moon will make them bite.  If it isn’t a full moon, I take the other side of the coin and convince myself that there are many more factors involved than just the moon.  Either way, I am going to catch some fish!

Back to human behavior…..I saw a story from South Carolina this week that absolutely positively must be attributed to the full moon.  Crystal Brown stabbed a man in the top of the head with a knife not once, but twice.  Sounds crazy, but why did she stab him?  It turns out the man that she had only known for a few days asked her to have sex with him.  In hindsight, that wasn’t such a great idea.  After looking at Ms. Brown’s booking photo from the Myrtle Beach Police Department, I am not at all certain as to whether Ms. Brown or her victim should receive my newly created  Full Moon Award.  


Honorable mention goes to Joyce Gregory.  WLBT reports that Ms. Gregory is accused of castrating a man by squeezing his testicles out of his scrotum.  OUCH!

%d bloggers like this: