Ask Randy v2

My second installment of Ask Randy.  Version 1 can be found here and as with v1, this is a combination of Dear Abby, ask a friend and general legal advice.  If you have a specific legal issue contact an attorney licensed in your state for your specific issue.  As always, keep this legal notice in mind.

These are actual search terms that someone sat down and typed into or some other web search engine to arrive at my blog.

  • how to ask your cheating wife for a divorce

“Honey, you have been a warm, caring and loving wife, but I am ready to move on.  Would you please sign these papers?”  Seriously, if she is cheating and you want a divorce, go see a lawyer and ask him to get the ball rolling.

  • before divorce final can kids be around his new girlfriend

They CAN, but it is a really, really bad idea.

  •  is it ok to take help from your mean ex husband

Sure, you can accept help from anyone.  Help is a gift.  Now if the ex husband is expecting something in return for the gift, you should probably reassess your options.

  •  can you destroy your spouses personal property during a divorce

Sure.  However, the Court may require you to pay for the property you damage.  If you were under an order to produce the property, the Court may find that your actions were taken in contempt of court.  Just don’t do it.

  •  is it aceptable to divorce if your spouce got someone pregnant

It is not only acceptable, it is generally encouraged.

  •  can you give your spouse all of your retirement in a divorce

Sure.  There is noting prohibiting you from giving anyone anything.  In fact, you could even give your retirement to me so I could further my hunting and fishing activities if that is what you want to do.  Keep your retirement.  If you live long enough, you will need it.

  •  can you make payments to your lawyer for a divorce case

Yes.  Lawyers, like most people that are owed money prefer timely payments.

  • how to get everything in divorce if gambling addiction is found out

Invest in the casino?  If there is a serious gambling addiction, there isn’t going to be much to get.  Go see a lawyer and if the money wasted at the casino is significant, consider hiring a forensic accountant or CPA to track the wasted family assets.

  • how to prove ur girlfriend that u r divorced

Show her your divorce documents.

  • what happens when you give a divorce proposal to the attorney

Typically, he/she will draft a settlement proposal and send it to the attorney on the other side.   The attorney on the other side may or may not accurately relay the offer to the client.  At some point, the parties either reach agreement, go to trial or the divorce case is dismissed.

  •  how to handle a cheating wife who hates you and wants a divorce

Give her the divorce.  No need to be miserable.

  •  soon to be ex wife keeps threatening me with her lawyer

Take away the threat.  Consult with an attorney, make a reasonable offer to end the matter and be prepared to go to trial if she doesn’t accept.  Simple as that.

  •  using fake cashiers checks to claim payment on child support

Excellent way to end up in jail.

  •  when your ex doesn’t want to be friends and you have kids

You and your ex do not need to be friends.  You need to be parents.  There is no requirement that formerly married people remain friends and in many cases it simply isn’t possible.  Discuss your children, parenting, schooling and leave it at that.  It is time to move on.

  •  do you have to talk to your ex husbands new wife cuz you have kids

It would certainly make life easier, but keep the conversations strictly limited to the kids.  Pick-up and drop off times, visitation schedules, medical care for the child, etc.  You don’t have to be friends (see above).

  • can wife change facebook status to single before divorce is final

Yes.  In fact, she could change her facebook status prior to the divorce being final to reflect that she is in a complicated relationship with a turtle if she wanted to.  If if makes your soon to be ex spouse happy, let her go for it.  So long as she is happy, she isn’t focused on making you unhappy.

  • what can i do if my divorce lawyer does not have my best interest in mind

Either trust your lawyer or find a new one you can trust.

  • if you remarry your ex will you have to go through all the custody if you divorce again

Typically, yes.

  • in a divorce which is worse adultery cases or irrational differences

I would guess that it depends on how irrational the differences are.  In Mississippi, being able to prove a basis for your divorce such as adultery simply entitles you to a divorce.  It doesn’t entitle you to all the assets or the kids.  The fault based grounds for divorce are not ranked.  Adulterers and drug addicts are both entitled to an equitable distribution of the marital estate during a divorce.

  • defense alienation of affection mississippi

The absolute best defense is to be able to prove you didn’t do it.  Alienation of affection is still alive and well in Mississippi and can cost you more money than you want to pay out.  The elements of proof for an alienation of affection case are “(1) wrongful conduct of the defendant; (2) loss of affection or consortium; and (3) causal connection between such conduct and loss.”  Fitch v. Valentine, 959 So. 2d 1012, 1025-26 (¶36) (Miss. 2007).  Therefore, you had best be able to prevail on one of those three prongs.  As a practical matter, alienation of affection cases that go to trial often result in a jury verdict against the defendant.  As noted by Philip Thomas, plaintiffs in these cases had a 6-0 trial record in Mississippi over the previous two years.


About randywallace
I am a husband, father, attorney, outdoorsman and cook.

7 Responses to Ask Randy v2

  1. Concerned says:

    What do you think about the following: A man and his wife separate and the man files a lawsuit for alienation of affection against his wife’s former lover. The husband and his wife technically get a divorce, yet they continued living together and having sex (along with all of the other aspects of being married). The husband is still suing the old lover even though he and his “wife” have lived together the whole time and maintained a relationship consistent with marriage. I’m not making this up!

    • randywallace says:

      Based on those limited facts I would say the case would be difficult at best. These cases are so fact intensive and dependent that one additional factor could swing a jury. I could envision a jury saying the husband didn’t really lose anything. I could also see a jury buying that the actions of the boyfriend caused the divorce and taking a whack at him. One of the most important factors in these cases is the quality of the marital relationship before the lover steps in. Juries don’t typically care about people that bust up bad marriages. On the other hand, a jury will take your last dollar if they think you used money or gifts to break up college sweethearts. When it is all said and done, you never know what a jury will do in an individual case.

    • horny says:

      wife gets pregnant 18 years ago but doesn’t tell husband he isn’t the biological father until about 3 months into the pregnancy. Husband decides to raise child as his own, but doesn’t have sex with wife again, without any disappointment on wifes part. she never enjoyed sex, in fact they never even discussed it as a problem.
      Now she wants divorce on grounds of hict, inhumane treatment. does this lack of sex mean the husband never condoned her pregnancy.

  2. Sandi clark says:

    Please comment on how grandparents should react during a divorce when the parent won’t allow visitations because they are trying to hurt the marriage partner.

    • randywallace says:

      This phrase gets tossed around, but that is because it is true in all occasions. The people involved must be guided by the best interests of the child(ren). Depending on the circumstances, the best interest of the child may require fighting for grandparent visitation, or visiting while their child has visitation or not visiting at all while the divorce is pending. The specific circumstances dictate the potential solution(s). Good luck.

  3. Leon says:

    I need somw major advice….

  4. Judy Moore says:

    My husband has moved his girlfriend into my house and we are not divorced yet. She comes to court with him and I dont know why the judge allows her to be in the courtroom.He says he wants to marry her after our divorce and give me none of our assets we have aquired during the marriage. I am disabled and visionally impaired.How much more can he humiliate me. I cant afford a lawyer because I dont have any money left from my dissability check to hire one. What can I do to get my share of our assets?

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