40……make that 41 things NOT to do during your divorce

From time to time I get divorce cases that really make me scratch my head and wonder what in the heck people were thinking when they decided to get married in the first place.  These are the cases where the parties literally hate each other and cannot see the other person’s view of anything.  Like the old saying, “its only win-win if I win twice.”

In these cases, the parties generally do everything they can to exact revenge from the other for some real or even perceived wrong that has occurred during the marriage.  That wrong may be adultery, squandering of assets, physical/emotional abuse or just about anything.  Regardless of the wrong, litigants do not understand that they are damaging their own cases by attempting to obtain revenge.  As a litigant in a divorce case you want to show up for court not only with clean hands, but a clean history.  With that in mind here is a list of things you shouldn’t do if you want to have a successful outcome in your divorce case:

1.  Hide things from your attorney.  Attorneys can prepare for and deal with facts.  Surprises on the other hand create problems.  Drug use, adultery, hidden assets and the like can destroy your case if your attorney isn’t prepared to deal with them.  This isn’t a game of hide and go seek.  Come clean.  The same goes for destroying evidence.  Just because you delete those emails from your computer doesn’t mean the other side isn’t going to get them another way.  When they do, it is going to look pretty bad if you hid them or lied about their existence in your discovery responses.

2.  Dispose of assets you know your spouse is going to request.  Don’t sell her great-grandmother’s chair in the attic and expect to get away with it.

3.  Fail to keep a copy of all communications with your soon to be ex-spouse.  If he/she sends you crazy or threatening text messages, give a copy of it to your attorney.

4.  Incur debt in your spouse’s name.  That would be stupid.  Don’t be stupid!

5.  Make comments in front of your children about your spouse.  Children are not the jury for a divorce.  They do not need to know that your spouse cheated on you or that your spouse is a %$^&$.  Leave the kids out of it.  All they want is to be loved.

6.  Use drugs or excessive alcohol.  If you do, it will cause you to violate even more of these “do not rules” and probably a few more than I haven’t even mentioned.

7.  Send nasty text messages, email or voice mail.  If you receive a text message saying you are a no good sorry piece of %&*^ and you reply by calling your spouse a few words that would not be appropriate in church, chances are you will see those words again in court.  Be nice.  Don’t put anything in email, text, voice mail, or other writing that you wouldn’t want to read in church to the entire congregation.

8.  Post stupid crap to facebook or any other social media site.  Nothing is private.  That person you kinda-sorta remember from high school and friended on facebook will share the pictures of your Jagermeister induced, half clothed 2 a.m. posted pictures.  Likewise, when you tell your spouse you are sick and can’t get the kids for the weekend, your spouse will find out if you post pics to facebook showing the great time you are having on the beach knocking back drinks with little umbrellas in them.

9.  Show anger in front of the judge, clerk, your spouse or your children.  Hold your emotions.  Screaming or violent outburst only serve to impress upon people that you are irrational.

10. Fail to weigh the trial of a case on economic and non-economic terms.  Sure you want to “win” the case.  Are you willing to spend $10,000 or more in legal fees to “win” the same thing that was offered prior to trial?  Don’t be stupid.  The romance is gone.  It is now a matter of money and custody.  Do you really want to stand in front of the judge while a lawyer questions you about your infidelity, gambling problem or pornography addiction?

11.  Bring your new boyfriend/girlfriend around the children prior to the divorce being final.  Failure to follow this will in all likelihood result in your new significant other becoming a witness in your divorce trial.  Are you familiar with alienation of affection and what it can cost?

12.  Bring your new boyfriend/girlfriend to court.  Unless there is a compelling reason for doing so, don’t do it.  It will only polarize your soon to be ex-spouse even more.  It also provides the perfect opportunity for the new lover to be a witness (and generally an unprepared witness at that).

13.  Speak with the lawyer for your spouse or anyone associated with their office for any reason.  They aren’t your friends.  They have one job which is to destroy you and make sure your spouse receives all of what you consider “your stuff.”  If you value your stuff, don’t talk to anyone about your divorce except your attorney.

14.  Display a “you owe me” type attitude.  Maybe your spouse does and maybe your spouse doesn’t.  Be calm and rational.  The more you claim your spouse owes you, the more your spouse will conger up recollections of all the things he/she has done for you.  This may come as a surprise to you, but when your spouse does that the items on his/her list will outweigh the few things your spouse remembers you have done for them.

15.  Make reactive comments.  You rarely lose anything by failing to respond quickly.  Calmly think about the situation and then respond if required.

16.  Talk while others are talking.  Easy enough.  If your mouth is open, your ears aren’t.  You can often gain an advantage in a divorce by soaking up knowledge, but rarely will you do so by passing it out.  You need to be the one that is learning, not the one that is teaching.

17.  Argue religion.  You are not going to convert anyone during a divorce case.  You can however, piss them off or convenience them that you are hypocritical.

18.  Make proposals you are not fully prepared to live with.   Otherwise, your credibility goes out the window.

19.  Withhold visitation for failure to pay child support or vice versa.  This is a good way to go to jail for contempt.

20.  Fail to read all orders entered in your divorce case.  Ask your attorney for them.  “I didn’t know” isn’t going to cut it with the judge if you were ordered to do something and fail to do it.

21.  Increase your debt.  Your financial situation is about to change……drastically.  This is a time to be very conservative with your finances.  There is no guarantee as to what the court may do and no guarantee that the child support will come in.

22.  Fail to create a rainy day fund.  Keep some cash somewhere safe that you can use for emergencies.

23.  Make large purchases.  It is hard to argue that you can’t pay an additional $XXX in child support, daycare, etc. if you just went out and financed a new boat, car, motorcycle, gun, closet full of shoes, or whatever.

24.  Fail to consider the tax implications of divorce.  Your tax situation is about to change.  Go see an accountant/CPA and find out exactly how it is going to change so there are no surprises.

25.  Fail to update your legal documents.  Do you want your soon to be ex-spouse using that power of attorney from ten years ago to remove money from your retirement?  Do you want them to make the decision as to whether or not life saving measures should be taken if you have a serious medical condition?  I can just see an angry spouse telling the doctors “Pull the plug.   He wouldn’t want to live with a broken leg!’  That is kind of funny until you realize something could happen.  Do you want your soon to be ex-spouse to receive all your assets if you kick the bucket the day before your divorce becomes final?  These events can be avoided, put they must be planned for.

26.  Get pregnant or get anyone pregnant.  Pregnancy can stall a divorce while the court waits to find out the identity of the father.  Do you want to wait months only to provide proof of your infidelity?  Just don’t do it.

27.  Listen to all your friend’s advice of what you should get or give in a divorce.  Every divorce is different.  You are paying an attorney to watch out for your best interests.  Either trust your attorney or find an attorney you can trust.

28.  Fail to take an inventory of household items.  You need to be able to show what assets have been removed or destroyed.  If nothing else, walk through the house with a video camera and video everything there.  It will help you create a list of assets.

29.  Fail to keep your attorney advised of your whereabouts.  The only thing more troubling for an attorney than a lying client is a client that falls off the face of the earth.

30.  Fail to keep a divorce diary.  Make notes of things that happen.  If your spouse doesn’t pick up the kids for visitation, doesn’t pay child support when due under a court order or anything negative at all, write it down.

31.  Cash refund checks that in all honesty belong to your spouse.  If a tax refund check comes in, try to reach agreement on a division.  If you resolve the issue in your own favor, don’t be surprised when the judge resolves it against you and you have to come up with the money to pay your spouse.

32. Fail to pay child support via check.  If you pay any amount owed to your spouse with cash, you are inviting the less than truthful to claim you didn’t make the payment.  If you owe $750 per month in child support on the first of the month, get a check for that payment into his/her hands the day before.  Better early than jailed for contempt.

33.  Fail to remember than Chancery Court is a Court of equity.  If you want the court to “do right” you dang well better do right yourself.

34.  Discuss settlement with your spouse after you have been drinking.  That great idea you had at midnight may not be such a great idea the next morning when you wake up with a hangover and even your dog is looking at you funny.

35.  Fail to realize that if you have a child or children, the divorce is not the end.  You will still have to deal with your ex-spouse for many years to come.  If you are unreasonable now, there is a good chance that your ex-spouse will be unreasonable with you for many years to come.

36.  Fail to understand that a happy ex-spouse is a key to your happiness.  Few things will make your life more miserable than a miserable ex-spouse.  If they are having problems with money or relationships, you will be the target of their cross hairs.  On the other hand, a happy ex generally isn’t fixated on making your life a living hell. 

37.  Fail to understand that the more unreasonable you are, the more unreasonable your spouse will be.  Splitting up assets and debts occurs in equitable distribution.  It isn’t called “you get everything distribution.”  If you want everything, your spouse is likewise going to request everything.  You have to give something to receive something.  Only litigate over items that are truly valuable to you.

38.  Be unreasonable with child visitation or move out-of-state with the children for no reason other than to separate the children from your spouse.  Courts don’t like this.  Children generally have an established network of friends and family where they are.  Relocation will be difficult on you and will likely be even more difficult on them.  Don’t do it unless you have a good reason for doing so such as physical abuse.

39.  Make extrajudicial modifications to any court order.  Your spouse says “don’t worry about the child support for the next 3 months because Jr. is going to stay with grandma.”  Unless the agreement is reduced to writing and a judge signs an order modifying the previous order, you are not relieved of complying with the previous order of the court.  Stated another way, do whatever the court orders you to do and do it until the court orders you to do something different.

40.  Be your own lawyer.  Sure, you think you know everything, but in reality you don’t.  You figure you will save a few bucks, but in the long run you wont.  If you really desire to end up back in court or worse (in jail), draft your own pleadings and draft your own custody agreement.  The money you will end up spending to modify a deficient child custody, visitation and property settlement agreement will overshadow the amount you would have spent to get it done correctly in the first place.  Even worse, some things can’t be modified.  Therefore, if you don’t get those things right the first time you don’t get them at all.

So there you have it.  Forty things not to do during your divorce.  This list is by no means exhaustive.  There are plenty of other things you shouldn’t do during your divorce.  Like right now, I just remembered that I failed to tell you that you should never discuss advice or strategy received from your attorney with other persons.  That destroys the attorney-client privilege and the attorney on the other side is free to obtain this type of information in discovery.  You don’t want that to happen so keep your personal matters personal.

I suspect you could probably name 4 or 5 other things in addition to my 41.  Don’t do them either!  Divorce is generally a traumatic and life changing experience.  Don’t make it any more difficult than it already is.

Last week, I attended a CLE seminar on malpractice prevention.  One of the speakers cautioned us about inadvertently creating attorney-client relationships.  With that in mind, please read my disclaimer.

About randywallace
I am a husband, father, attorney, outdoorsman and cook.

104 Responses to 40……make that 41 things NOT to do during your divorce

  1. Macko says:

    Good stuff Randy! Not that I plan to ever need it but good stuff all the same!

    • Anonymous says:

      No one ever plans to need it.

    • Raymond Hoskins says:

      Hello Randy,dang i better not let my ex know i am still up i guarantee by the time it gets to the evaluator i will be either a drug addicted Englishman or a drug addicted child molester according to my wife’s Borderline personality(Although not proven im convinced
      People who know me tell me this court divorce thats stooped on custody of my baby girl 8 who i nurtured and raised in a house where my wife told me she would smash her face into the wall and tell the police i did it to get me out in front of my heart(Thats what i call Jane
      My friends who have been with me on this ride said its a witch hunt
      Falsely accused of verbal abuse drugs which i have tested negative ETG tests that i just tested negative and according to Commissioner Lowery because my wife as lied to him about taking my kid to be interviewed by detectives about daddy touching her and she said she had not and because she as taken 6 devices from Jane so she cannot get her 7 o clock call and because when i have taken horse riding lessons shes walked into my visitation and taken Jane he believes the order was not a good decision he said that on record funny he still didn’t lift R/O You see Randy i have no history and i am 60 Caucasian of Drugs never all my life had as much as a ticket No Abuse No Child molestation have had a DUI in 2007 had rehab in 2005 and my wife who moved a 450ib Guamanian biker in my home called Chopper Mike check him out on Facebook is living under my daughters roof told me to fuck off and confessed he is still being investigated by CPS hes wife got 2 yrs for Child Endangerment Penal Code 273a and he as a daughter he got to move in my house my wife went down there i guess as a happy family moved the girl into my Jane’s room shes 15 only to be physically thrown out by dad or wife’s boyfriend to the tune of 6 police cars and my daughter in the house
      I believe hes doing something to Jane because my daughters scared to be a minute late on my visitation 56 hours a month i get and she as told me my autistic step son is made to stand in corner hours for not being able to tie his shoes
      Anyway i did the drug tests and she also spoke to my friend of 40 years and asked him questions about me he was my witness to the ex
      My daughter is 8 but Mensa standards did the test and she tells me and told evaluator she wants 50/50 shes started to act different to me like quiet not herself my daughter im referring to alienation
      I need some help but because of the stealing of monies i have after split 80000 but as of yet have not done anything because we are still on custody the evaluator is i believe on my exes side she did this to the other ex whos boys i am raising or was what can i do should i get Declaration done before the evaluator makes her recommendation
      I read that unless theirs preponderance of evidence shes not at liberty to have me tested this drug things Hearsay and the excessive drinking also can, she get in trouble for that?
      Sorry this is so long i need help 6 weeks before court results
      Raymond H Hoskins

      • randywallace says:

        Mr. Hoskins, it appears you are in quite the predicament. Best response I can give you is to consult with a lawyer in your area. We appear to be in different states on opposite sides of the US.

  2. Keri Haralson says:

    I just love this!!! Where, oh where, did you come up with any of this? I almost CRIED I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Jennifer Deweese says:

      What is so funny about facts? Have you ever gone through a divorce, they can get very ugly, sometimes very quickly. My daughter is going through one now, so tell me what do you find so funny? He didn’t just “find” it, he is an attorney. Are you even an adult? I replied to yours because of it’s idiocy, nothing more and nothing less. To those of us who have had terrible divorces nothing is funny. Maybe you should consider researching some facts before thinking everything is so funny. Good grief.

    • Rebecca Colorado says:

      Which part was funny to you? The part where some people lose family heirlooms to pissed off spouses, maybe the part where some people use their children as weapons? Wtf is wrong with you? There is NOTHING funny about the end of a marriage and how love can turn to hate.

  3. Larry says:

    I am going to link this next week on my blog. Good job.


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  7. Pingback: Couple in divorce ordered to stop posting about each other on Facebook | randywallace

  8. Tiffany says:

    I am going through a divorce as well. The agreement and negotiations are all done, but he came back and asked me to stay married. I said I gave him a year to show me he is trying to fix a few things (mental health stuff) and now he’s being ugly again. He’s in another country for work, and now I”m doing the relationship tactic of “no contact” to see if he’s going to take me seriously. All the paperwork is done, it’s just a matter of him deciding he wants to be married, our waiting period is up too, so I could go down tomorrow and have it over with ( i live in a VERY small town and the judge sees people same day). I’m trying to be OH so patient, but this list is going to help me a ton, because I get a little upset sometimes and want to be cold and unfeeling, but realize that it won’t help the post divorce things with the kids. Divorce is such a hard thing.

    • Anonymous says:

      Tiffany, I’m gong through a D as well. He cheated on me( still with her), we have no kids. I filed…, I did not want to. I Wanted to work things out . I Wish my soon to be ex would want to return. I’d love to know how you are coping. It’s coming up on a year that he is out of the house( living with his elderly parents), and my self esteem has Plummitted . How?? Do you survive this?

      • Sarah says:

        Hi Tiffany. Going through the same thing here. Mom of a 5 year old little boy, everything was so good or so I thought. & we were taking a “break” I found him at his friends house with his boxers on and a girl in his t-shirt and no pants. Broke me into pieces. Now, he won’t text me back, call me, nothing. He acts as if I never existed. I dont even know why he has changed so drastically… Married 6 years to this man & I dont know him anymore.

      • Jenna says:

        Divorce is so horrible! Anonymous, It is the probably the most painful thing to go through. For me the pain did not want to go away and my days seem grey and never the same again. I still tear up sometimes when I get reminded. He left me for another woman all of a sudden! No warning to talking about it NOTHING! I was pregnant with his third child and I wanted to work it out and he was not gonna have it. He was in love with some other woman. On top of that he told me he would never get back together if it didn’t work out with the other woman. I was mad because I didn’t even ask him to get back together even though i deeply wished so. I felt so worthless! I gave him everything he asked for! I sold my two cars so he can buy himself a motorcyle and a truck among other things I sacrificed for his happiness. I still love and miss him I just love his personality but he is so SELFISH!!!! I have not met anyone as fun as him. I know it sounds so superficial but it affects the relationship alot. I know I am better off with someone who will treat me alot better. He was emotionally abusive to our little ones and almost physically but I would get in front of them to protect them. We would fight about this all the time. I just want women or men out there going through a divorce or being dumped like trash to know that there are selfish people out there who will manipulate you and degrade you and it happens so slowly even if you have a strong personality they are able to do it so gradually you won’t even know what hit you. They are NARCISSISTIC people! google it and do some research on that!!!! They will describe your mate to the T. Keep your head up. You should be careful with your heart and who you get involved with. Be very aware of red flags and leave if you see any! It is better that he left now and not when you were pregnant with his third child or before having any children because then they would suffer and you would suffer knowing they are suffering. I wish you the best. You will find your true love just do things to cheer yourself up and do what you love! Don’t forget who you are and start getting into some things you know you have always wanted to do! You may find him when you are doing what you love!

    • jason says:

      I was with mine for almost 15 years. I tried to give my two kids and her everything I could the big nice house, new car every few years, full time nanny, and a maid to help. Every few years ” I need break I’m not happy I need more acts of endearment,” I Stayed away like I she asked me to. The final thing for me was her work was giving her hard time with her money. I got her a job with my company making good salary plus a large bonus plan. Ive worked for this company for 9 Years love my job. Month into it she started sleeping with engineer to dating him. He is totally married with 3 kids. I filled got separation done. Even with court order stating she had to leave still can get her out of the house. I really feel for all of us that have been done wrong or going threw all this , more so for our kids. I get threw it day by day living for my kids , family ,friends ,and prayer. Good things will come to good people keep you chin up and take your time to find the right person for you. People Don’t Change Don’t settle. Best wishes god bless

      • Apsando1 says:

        Married 10 yrs 4children. There have been affairs in the past. Like 6yrs ago. We separated this past july-oct. We reconciled 2weeks before he took a job states away. He got a moving bonus for his family he never intended to take with him. It’s been 5months later. He would come see kids and I one wkend out of the month. Calls became fewer and fewer. And when he would come home he just seemed very cold. I begged for reassurance he refused to give. Then came the i dont live you anymore….I have just been in this marriage to “give u ur way.” WHAT?!! I Filed for divorce yesterday. The tears are slowing…I would ball uncontrollably almost daily. Just burst into tears…I would have to run to the restroom so kids wldnt see me….but they know. I love him with every fiber of my being. And never wanted kids to not have him everyday. I know he stopped loving me bc he fell “inlove” with someone else. Basically he left us because him and I were not inlove….but yet I loved him, that’s the feeling after the inlove and excitement of it being new fades. My kids are just as lost as I am. So many hopes and dreams trashed. I am getting stronger everyday. I have the most wonderful children to keep me going. It definitely does feel like a death. But we are going to be fine…God is with us he will never leave us.

      • BROWNEYESBLUE says:

        Apsando1; your story is similar to mine, except, he was not only cheating with women+, but he was sexually assaulting one of our 4 children(13). I was an abused wife and communicated this fact to the attorney, she was the 1st person before the cops got the report of the sexually abuse by a minor 3 weeks after filing for divorce. Child felt safe after he was gone. Got proof of his cheating, as he changed a credit card that was in both our names. He removed me and placed the mistress and her HOME address. The credit card company sent the request to update to his formal residence–where he abandoned his vows and his children. He spent $325. for building of a love nest at his mistress house. This was during the time he knew i filed for a divorce. More stupid you ask: how about sending love letters to your new girlfriend stating “you cannot wait for the divorce to be over so you can marry her…you love her more than words can say.” This email somehow copied to the URL on the residential WIFI that he still utilized the connection instead of disconnecting use. The attorney has these items. So much damaged he has done over the 15 years of marriage and he walks still free. His lawyer was paid in full while mine accepted my case knowing fully that i was without a job and had little money. She said she would budget but what she really did is reflected on how she handled my case. The bulk of payment came from a credit card with my ex’s name on it, the rest i have been paying what i can but vowed to pay her in full. With all the hard evidence, my ex received joint managing conservator over the kids, able to keep his 401k (he used a portion to pay for his lawyer), if the house is not refinanced timely(out of his name), it will have to be sold and he receives 1/2 of any profits made from the sale, No spousal support as she first said i qualified for…and Child support, well he stop working the hours so as to produce the least amount of payment. then he subtracts money from the child support that he believes i should be paying as the cost of the medical insurance that his attorney wrote up as keeping me added but at MY OWN expense. My lawyer says i did not loose anything, I really have gained. She did not informed me of 2 court dates that i know i should have been there after speaking with the court coordinator via phone after checking the court website(something directed me to check it). I would have missed the Trial by Merit too if it would not for my that something leading me to check the website. I sent email to my ATTY and asked about missed dates and upcoming Trial. Well, my ATTY said its not a trial, this is the day that she would be entering the final decree and i didn’t miss any dates. God will provide as He has promised. It all looks bad, but i believe that as a good and committed wife and mother, step mom, sister in law, ect, and standing on the word of God, good will do a better job of making any crooked place straight. In Daniel 1:9, it reads, Now God had caused the official to show favor and compassion to Daniel. Daniel did not pray this for this favor or compassion, it was because God saw the need for His child who was acting in His will. The 41 things not to do during a divorce, is only for those who do not walk in the word, and try to get things dishonestly. It all belongs to the Almighty God even our life, we cannot claim. My lawyer is/was about the money and not the law. She is/was not standing on righteousness. Greed will overcome her. She made claims that she did not keep and I know God will answer those prayers of His Children. I will give an update after the trial on Monday as she is not expecting me to be there. God continue grace over you and and your family.

      • Anonymous says:

        So true

      • Miguel A Valadez says:

        Thank you for your words I also am currently going through divorce she cheated on me and I forgave her and now a year later she’s at it again through social media. She only stayed with me because I gave her a home and supported her not because of love and that broke me because I love her so much! We have 3 kids and I know since she’s young 22 she just wants to be out there and meet different people. But now I know that there is good people out there hopefully I can move along and find someone better that can appreciate everything we do for them.

    • RebeccaColorado says:

      Just end it, why are you waiting? Even if he magically changes (which you know he won’t) do you even still want him. The longer you wait, the older you get.

  9. Admiring the time and effort you put into your website and detailed information you offer.
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  10. Anonymous says:

    What if my ex wife sold my motorcycle during our divorce. Do I have any recourse ?

  11. Robert Jr says:

    Thanks for the advice. I do have some questions if the ex to be changes their names on social networks like Facebook. To appear single already & had showed negative acts toward you in front of the kids. Along with several false allegations to destroy your credibility with friends, family & work? What do you do???

  12. Cheryl says:

    If I file for a divorce and I made a mistake on the month I got married it July not June but we both sign would my divorce sill go though

  13. Bernard says:

    I am so glad that I happened upon this blog and writing. I was just told by my wife of 10years that she wants a divorce. There is so much to sort through from emotions, internet due diligence, health, legal preparations that this a refreshing look at things to do and not to do.

  14. Kimberly says:

    Why would my ex want me to change my name back to my maiden name so badly? I don’t want to change it away from my children’s last name.

    • Jenna says:

      You aren’t required to change your last name. That is solely up to you. He needs to mind his own business and not worry about your name. It is YOUR name now. You earned it by getting married. And now you and your children share the same family last name. I have decided to keep my married name after divorce because I have 3 children and I don’t want them asking me why we have different last names, not only that but when we go anywhere school, doctors appointments I won’t have to explain the name difference. I have found that keeping my married name is just easier for me and our kids. I think your ex is just trying to control what you do. Either way he can’t do anything about it. He’s just gonna have to suck it up.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Don’t, under any circumstances move out of the family residence before you have a written agreement that is clear and signed by both parties. If you move out, she or he can stay in this house without your having any recourse for as long as possible AND not have to pay rent. Get an attorney!

    Next, don’t go into Collaborative, a process that is supposed to be better than litigation. It is only if both parties DURING the marriage were good communicators, worked together collaboratively, have the same values now and are trustworthy. If you answered no to any of these, then you will be sorely mistaken. And waste time and money. I know.

    • Jenna says:

      I regrett going to collaborative or mediator because I was very vulnerable and scared and felt pressured to “co-operate” and I did not know my rights. I felt that I was supposed to listen to what the mediator pushed for and I feel that she favored my ex and would pressure me to give in to his wants and she did not do it evenly to both sides only to his side. I did not agree but I still signed because I thought I had to or would be considered uncooperative with the courts. I was so clueless and feel so stupid now! Wish I didn’t go to the mediation.

    • Anonymous says:

      My “husband” left his family..myself and 2 sons, in June,,there is no written document, no attorney intervention yet….but since He left, and the house is in my name only..I can’t afford an attorney, but I can afford a locksmith to change the locks…what recourse do I have? He smokes pot and drinks to much, has been verbally and physically abusive to myself and our sons (who are now grown)….we have been together 23 years..I have a poor support group..my only sib, my sister, lives out of state..I have no family here and most of his and our friends were mutual friends.therefore those “friends” have stuck with my husband..they all hang out at bars all the time and smoke pot and do cocaine and God knows what else..he “supposedly ” has a girlfriend but he also has E.D., and he would tell me before he left that “we” could not afford to have those meds filled..I work in the medical field and not the legal field..any advise from legal peeps would be so great now…..I am heartbroken and devistated even after the horrible things he did to us..and he never says he is sorry or admits he did anything wrong.why the hell do still love the putz? I am in therapy, I go to group therapies. a very Christian good friend has me going to her church..this man has totally broken whats left of my heart, and I do not know how to get over this..my 24 year old son is still at home with me..he as Aspergers but he is very intelligent and help me with computer issue, but he does not understand the severe depression I have…my Email is smylyjagwoman@aol.com….please, only people who can truly help me respond to my E-mail..thanks..

    • Anonymous says:

      My husband left us, his family, in June..the house is in my name only..I can’t afford an attorney..and suggestions? Thanks.

      • carrie says:

        Can you get a line of credit taken out on the house and file for divorce and make him pay your attorney’s fees in the settlement of the divorce. These men that just walk out without a single thought for what devastation they have left behind is abhorrent. There should be a special place in hell for them.

  16. Sheri says:

    How do I legally keep my husband from allowing his girlfriend into our martial home that we both own

    • randywallace says:

      Sheri, you need to speak with an attorney in your area if that is an issue you want to resolve.

    • melania says:

      I have the same issue. We have a house upstate and he is bringing her there. She even posted pics of my bedroom on facebook ! It seems that you have to accept it, because both of you can bring “friends” in the property. In short, he is not breaking the law. However, if you can prove that she is a very “special guest “, it will not play in your husband favor in front of the judge. Try gain evidences. Best of luck to you, I know how you feel

    • Jenna says:

      You should get an order with your attorney. He/she can write an order to keep you in your own home. My ex had the other woman in our marital home and didn’t let me and the kids in our own home. It took me two weeks to get the place but only because his parents pushed him and his mistress out. It took a couple of weeks to get the order that said he will pay for the place and let me and the kids dwell in there. Good luck! He must be narcissistic! The audacity of it. Ughgh!!!

  17. Amy Barnhill says:

    I have a quick question? Maybe someone else has gone through. My husband and I are divorcing in Texas. We have been separated for 3 years now. I bought a used vehicle with my own money not quite a year ago. We have already divided everything. So tonight when I met him to drop off our children for his weekend he started taking pictures of my license plates and vehicle (he has seen on many occasions) and a picture of me. What in the world could all this mean?

    • Jenna says:

      He could be trying to claim it as marital community property or try and make you split the value of it half and half. But I doubt he can do this because you were separated. But you also have to take into account were you LEGALLY separated or just separated. If you were legally separated then he can’t do anything about it. I’m not 100 percent but I am pretty sure he can’t do anything about it. It is yours. If you were dependent upon him then no he can’t do anything. He could just be playing mind games too.

    • Gigi Hicks says:

      It think means that it will more than likely be considered part of the marital assets, unless you had a written contract stating that all assets after separation would not be considered. I think your ex is planning on doing just that.

    • carrie says:

      If you have proof that you’ve maintained separated residences in the past 3 years and that the money for the truck came out of your own bank account, I don’t think he would have a leg to stand on.

  18. Staci says:

    i wish i had seen this a month ago. My husband and I agreed to a separation and then things got ugly. He lives in Singapore with our 11 year old son. He said no attorneys. So I came back here, enrolled in school to finish my degree so I could help support the family because Ive been a stay at home mom for twenty years. Now that I’m here, he’s cut off support, no payment for my school and limiting my access to my son. As he’s said, he’s Canadian, I’m American and he lives in Singapore. I can/t touch him. I sent a really nasty text message (mistake, I see). I do believe I’m screwed. Never trust verbal agreements and remember the phrase “Restraint of pen and tongue”

    • Jenna says:

      Never trust VERBAL AGREEMENTS not even with your “trusted” atttorney! I got screwd over by my attorney with child support and he made child support only 50 dollars for 3 children under 5!!! 50 dollars TOTAL! my attorney told me to trust him because if i wanted i could just modify the order. I asked him why would I want to have to modify it I just want a decent amount. My ex was emoployed and could pay alot more than that. Attorney told me “Trust me I know what I’m doing. It is strategic” I questioned him again and again he assured me” trust me”ok your just gonna have to trust me on this” So here I am having to do modification and we are in diferent states now so it will take me 3-6 months to modify maybe longer. NEVER TRUST VERBAL agreements. Make sure that you are perfectly happy with everything that is written on your COURT ORDERS, DIVORCE agreements , child support and child custody and look at every single word make sure no mistakes are on there. And trust your gut more than your attorney if something doesn’t make sense to you!!! Don’t let the attorney make you doubt yourself and your own judgement. You are vulnerable or feel more vulnerable during divorce so be careful!

  19. Nicole says:

    The silient treatment will and does drive the other side crazy. Some are just mean and hateful. Just don’t say a word. Let the attorney do the talking while you collect !! Cha Ching!💰💴💵

  20. Pingback: A giant middle finger to the ex-wife | randywallace

  21. thusbloggedanderson says:

    Thanks, Randy. Apparently I am going to have personal use for this list – printing it off now!

  22. Anthony everson says:

    me and my other half are getting divorced she txted me and told me that her new boyfriend is going to be staying at house overnight alot and our children are there.
    and that there is nothing i could do about it what should i do?

  23. Pingback: Miscellaneous Friday | randywallace

  24. Lisa says:

    Have never think about this and planned for that, but yeah its very helpful for the people who are running through such a stage.

  25. Elise K says:

    Definitely do not take your new wife to court with you when you have not finished up your divorce to your former wife of over thirty years. Our judge screamed at the new wife and kicked her out of the courtroom. The judge then smacked down my former husband on spousal support, raising it three times what it was. He has a new family, but our judge only cares about his former family. My former husband was an idiot to bring his current wife to court with him. I am not a genius, but even I saw this all coming.

    • Elise K says:

      And one other do, get the best lawyer in town, the one with the excellent reputation. Be prepared for a long siege, we are in year three, and be expected to make some financial sacrifices to pay your attorney. I work the equivalent of two jobs and I pay $1000.00 a month. It rains in my house and my car is 15 years old. I consider everything I have paid my attorney as an investment in my family’s future and I look forward to the end only.

      My former husband has traveled the world since we split and at first enjoyed a pretty good time with all his sweeties. That ended, and it is going pretty darned bad for him now. He married the only sweetie who would have him five days after he lost his appeal. He is pro se as truly he thinks he is smarter than any attorney. He told the judge he cannot afford legal representation when he was threatened with jail this last time in court. He said he has never had legal representation but he forgot we are in the same court system that registered his attorney’s motion to withdraw as his legal counsel. What a dingbo.

  26. anonymous says:

    Yet another reason I am grateful I am never getting married

  27. Reblogged this on TheMomLifeofJasmine's Blog and commented:
    Very well written on divorce reality

  28. jheckman1986 says:

    Reblogged this on Jacob Heckman, IT Administrator and commented:
    This is a very good article on divorce that i found that may be helpful to those going through the proceedings. I understand this is not an IT subject but as someone who was exposed to a bad divorce i feel it’s an appropriate post.

  29. Anonymous says:

    My husband of 23 years walked out on us….me, his wife, and our 2 sons..the house is in my name only..can someone give me legal advise, please? Thanks

  30. mia says:

    my ex is trying to starve me back home to live with him. I moved into our second home some 2 hours away from the house I have lived in last 14 years. We just got this second home and its funny suddenly he cant afford the low monthly payment of 800.00 dollars a month. If i had moved into an apt the price for renting 450 square feet in CA is 900.00 to 1200.00 dollars, no garage. I have a two bedroom place with a huge backyard and giant garage and 1400 sq ft for 822.60 a month for first couple months then its 745.00 the rest of the year. I think I did very well. Our marriage has been over years ago. I’ve spent the last 8 years just being a roommate. But with the world/economy the way it is we felt comfortable enough living under same roof. But living arrangements like that have to eventually end when one gets a new love interest unless both do and it works out they can still be mature enough to not get weird and butt hurt. My ex still talked as if we were a couple still when he raged on and on to my kids about me having a new boyfriend. And the fact boyfriend is twenty years my junior really made my ex go over board with the jealous comments. It would have been okay for him to have some young thing but not me. I know he has played around a lot but he refuses to admit it. I find signs of it here and there over last 16 of 22 years. .

  31. mia says:

    my point was (see my other comment from earlier) the ex now suddenly went from 15,000 a month income to 3,000 a month income the minute i said the words divorce once i was safely in a new space away from him. he makes me beg for him to put money into an account i get to use after he cut off my debit card to our joint account. Ive been here now two months. i had to move all by myself my ex went to vegas. it was a nightmare and im exhausted. I came here because my youngest son in the marines with a wife and three kids needed help after school looking after the children i would pick up from school and bring to their house just a few blocks away. everything was going very well at the start but my ex caught wind of my happiness and my son and him talk in secret using work telephones i know. and then one day my son just turned on me. it killed me. they were all I had. i have no friends here. still I pushed myself to get up and look for a job. its not easy finding work in a new place when you know no one. I havent worked in over 14 years. I’m rusty and very out of touch with current job market. still my ex texts and calls me everyday telling me what a loser i am and he is flat broke. im going to have to work and help he says. Ive just now gotten internet (i don’t know how long that will last as I really cant afford it) so its easier to do applications for work. Prior to this i was using only my cell phone to apply at jobs needing help. things started breaking at my house. and a huge pine tree in back was a fire hazard and leaning way into my neighbors yard. my ex told this neighbor when we looking at house he would get the tree cut. also there’s no actual fence separating our place from next door neighbors place. My ex promised to get a fence quote right away that my neighbor agreed to go half on to keep my three dogs in our yard. the neighbor next door puts out poison to kill rabbits that eat his garden. my five pound yorkie is a clever lil sneaker who sneaks off so quiet you dont even hearhim leave. try watching three wild dogs and tell me how easy it is for one to slip next door and ingest rabbit poison my ex wont put up a fence of any kind now.. my ex has gone to vegas three times in two months. n old 15 yr long friendship male friend had some time to kill between his next job so he then was staying at my place a month in order to fix all the things that needed fixing that i had no money to have fixed. a fence was put up, the tree was cut, my plumbing got fixed and house painted. all free. The guy even paid me 600.00 for groceries. My ex got weird that my friend of 15 years was there and he talked with my youngest son and that’s when my son turned cold on me. My ex saying he wasn’t going to pay the way of my freeloading BOYFRIEND. none of it is true. so my friend left and then youngest son drops at my doorstep his older brother who flunked out of rehab and had no place to go. so currently ex is with holding money on the grounds my oldest son is at my house. i want to beat hubby at the punch and get a lawyer first. How do I prove he is hiding money from me? any suggestions. I live in CA.

  32. shawn says:

    K my husband got his baby mother pregnant again an haven’t been home Since we been married have have proof he posted a picture of the need baby sonogram I also have proof of him an her together so am I untitled to spousal support

  33. Anonymous says:

    Great timing! I found your post right as I was in the middle of writing a long letter to my cheating ex’s girlfriend vie Facebook messaging. Thanks.

  34. Wow I am so glad I stumbled on to this page. While ready comments it gives me encouragement. I don’t know if my divorce id finale yet, but it came as a shock to me no kids, 14 years of commitment, loyalty and total dedication. It’s been 7 months since he asked over the phone a day before our daughters wedding and I have not seen him yet. It’s like he wants to erase the last 14 years like I never existed. I have never been in love like with my husband I am still hurting so bad and cry everyday, but i realize that although I love my husband deeply I don’t want him because I can never trust him again. It is now a matter of relying on my mind and not my heart, being able to have the memories with fondnes and not let them take me back to the past or trying figure out what I could have done different. With the strength of God and lots of prayer I am on my way. Also let me say that I harbor no ill feelings towards my husband and pray that he will find the happiness he seeks since he could not find it in me..

  35. Marshia says:

    I haven’t seen or spoken to my husband in 7 1/2 months. The last time I saw him we got into another fight and he left. I don’t know where he is or how to find him. I have never met his family because they all live in Colombia. I am now giving up and I want to file for divorce. I just don’t know where to start . Any advice would be great.

  36. Nichole says:

    I filed for divorce cause my husband wants to move his crack head ex gf in ,he is verbal abusive, threatens to run me off I have multiple sclerosis. He is not fit to raise his grandson

  37. Laurie Harris says:

    This was very helpful since my divorce will be finalized on May 27-15. I have a two year order of protection. I was told by his cousin to pack his things to be picked up. That was months ago. If they are not picked up by our divorce date then what can I do with that.

  38. Yvette says:

    I am going thru a separation not a divorce yet but everything you listed my husband is doing to me. Idk what to do anymore. telling everyone i am a hoe crazy bitch etc. Talking to a girl he barely met. It hurt becuase i know it was my fault he broken down and acted this way but he left us our daughter and i. I am trying to fix it he just hurt and is not in his right mind to try anything. Besides sleep around. Am do drugs i admitted my errors but he just doesn’t pass that

  39. Ted Schmitt says:

    This whole business of “having to deal with an ex spouse years into the future if you have kids” is a bunch of hogwash. The terms of future communication between the divorced parties needs to very limited (to email, text, or US mail, for example). Having to look at an ex spouse brings up more hostility, bad feelings, depression, and often times rage. “Dealing with” an ex spouse needs to be extremely limited, and in needs to be spelled out in the divorce decree.

  40. Billie says:

    Hi Randy: This is great advice, but doesn’t really cover my type of divorce. We were only married 6 years before separating and had no children. I was a wage earner and my STBX owns a construction company. Throughout our marriage my STBX manipulated our finances such that my pre-marital savings (over $500K) and post-marital earnings (over $500K) were all community property, but he tried to keep all of his pre-marital assets and post-marital earnings as his separate property using the business. The divorce has been a 3 year discovery nightmare and no end is in sight!

    I strongly advice anyone who will be an ‘outspouse’ to spend the time/money finding a 3 person team PRIOR to filing for divorce. If you have a spouse who hid assets during marriage, it will only be worse in divorce. You will need a hard-working attorney with a very good paralegal and a CPA specializing in divorce. Much of the work will depend on the ‘outspouse’ and the CPA coming up with lists of what is missing and a good paralegal to drive and track production.

    I am 57 years old and this has been the worst nightmare of my life. I am currently writing a book entitled How to Get a Divorce In Monterey County or Die Trying.

  41. Tamara says:

    I would like to have spousal rights as her health deteriorates so I can be there until the end, at home, hospice, or nursing home. I would like to participate in healthy emotional support also. When gay marriage went wild fire Friday I asked her all day. I asked everyone in a group email for their blessing and hand in marriage

  42. Anonymous says:

    I’m going through a D as well and It’s been unbearable. I no longer know how i’ll make it, was married for 20+ years and he also left for another woman. He told our kids a different story. i gave up being close to my family and now have no one where I am. I been searching fiercely for work. Everyone keeps telling me it will get better but I’m losing hope. I still have to ask him for help and he’s not a pleasant person. He hangs up and threatens me all the time when I try to get anything for my children. He now says he will only give to them so I wont be able to pay any of my bills other than rent. I pray all the time and I can’t put on a fake face anymore to my children. How and when does it get any better.

  43. Kevin says:

    Will it make any difference in divorce if my partners ex committed adultery but doesn’t want to not put adultery on the paper

  44. Victoria says:

    I enjoyed this!!! Thanks! 1 question: is sending a text message that says ” you could of just told me about the other woman! I’ll hate you my whole life!” A big Nono?

  45. randywallace says:

    Run, don’t walk to find a reputable family law attorney in your area. This isn’t a situation you can handle on your own or solve with internet advice.

    Good luck.

  46. Tom H. says:

    I’m going to follow your advice and not post my personal information in my comment. 🙂 I wanted to say thank you for a well thought out list.

    I will say this, divorce stinks. I’m trying to be fair but hard to do when two people are emotionally primed. Now it’s going to the heavy hitters with lawyers and I can’t seem to stop this collision course. No one is going to win as things escalate with our lawyers.

    Any practical advice on de-escalating from your practice?

    Thanks again.


    Tom H.

  47. Marie Weinstein says:

    You are 100% right on every point

  48. james clark says:


    Ahh…. Great tips you are given during divorce time not to do.

    Thanks for sharing

  49. William Packard says:

    I filed for separation because my wife abandoned me and our 3 kids, no way to get a hold of her, but through the police.
    Should I have filed for a Divorce instead
    She turned off phone and hasn’t called the kids since she left, what are my options, thanks,

  50. Linda says:

    I’m scared. I have a abusive. Sexual deviant infidelity on his part. But he has a brother who was my attorney, past history released, and now is advising him…I’m scared, I have left house in fear, and have mental and physical ailments, that have increased threw abuse, control, manipulation. And no money just assets that I cannot get to. I’ve left home with few thing s packed, but really have nowhere to go, need medical care, and addiction from years of medical medicines, that he eventual controlled
    But he has ran up substantial debt using my property, and tax gain for claiming my care. It’s a mess, I’m a mess, I have had a heart attack, my teeth broken from abuse. But I do have pictures of property, emails , voice mails, and witnesses . I’ll stop here there’s much more, I’m dead in yhe v water…..

  51. Jamie says:

    Great piece. I’m currently working through divorce and these are helpful pointers. My husband and I want to avoid litigation. We’re trying to negotiate our separation agreement now. Once we successfully do this we’re thinking about using this only service to make the agreement: http://www.thistoo.co/agree … have you heard of these guys? I think they’re new. I was wondering what you would recommend. Thanks, Jamie

    • randywallace says:

      The chances of an online service adequately making provision for the many contingencies and state specific requirements for a divorce are roughly zero. At least with respect to Mississippi where I practice, many of the statements on the thistoo website are simply incorrect. The “We predict the outcome of your divorce” section is ludicrous. The outcomes of a divorce are far too dynamic for an online divorce forecaster.

      Is a major life decision such as divorce something you want to trust to a computer?

      • Gigi Hicks says:

        My husband notified me via e-mail that he had filed for divorce. The previous week we had vacationed and made love for times that week. I confronted him on a lie I discovered. He’s tired of being made accountable for his actions. We’ve been married 23 years. At the moment I feel as thought a tornado has shredded my life to pieces. I was served papers and hired an attorney. He filed under irreconcilable differences. I have no desire to prolong the process or to be unfair as far as equitable distribution of assets. I don’t think he does either. There’s nothing for me in this state. I followed him here, although I had a very good job in another state. I have no family here….so I’ll be moving. Divorce feels like a death. The pain is surreal.

  52. Pingback: How to Avoid a More Complicated Divorce – Top Daily News

  53. Brenda says:

    Hi Randy I get a court order that forces my ex husband to be, to stop using the car until the divorce is finalised. I bought the car but its in his name ,my concern is that it will loose value and frankly I’m surprised that he still using it .

    • randywallace says:

      If you are asking “Can you get a court order….?” the answer is that you can request temporary relief and place the issue before the court. From there, it is up to the court to make a decision. However, that is a rather unusual request that the court might not entertain.

  54. Julia Hetzel says:

    Well here is my situation he has a poa on me… Will be a year oct 8 2016…yesterday we had court for sale of our marital home which has 100 k in equity.. So the judge ordered for sale and we agreed on the Realtor but he still insists I can’t go to my home cause I may take stuff… Well my lawyer failed to file a modification so judge wouldn’t elaberate on this I haven’t been there for 11 months and who knows what he has removed and now I am afraid he won’t really try to sell home he wants to keep it but is unable to buy me out… Is there any advice???? Please live in Maine… And I just found out yesterday it’s going to trial for divorce and for got stuff like credit card debt and my lawyer not filing that motion I feel really injudctixe by my lawyer???? Help any advice???

  55. Florie says:

    I have a question. I am going through a divorce, no children involved. He finally moved out about a month ago, but, has still not removed all of his belongings from our shared rental. He set up the dates that he would come and get the rest of his items, but then cancelled. How long do I have to keep his things before they hit the curb with a “free” sign next to them? Is there legal ramifications if I toss those items, especially since he has set up dates, then cancelled them?

  56. Melissa sugar gold says:

    I let my ex husband keep our home mortgage is stil in my name. Ex husband recently died from cancer. Now the wife is living in my home paying my mortgage. I want to kick her butt out on the street. I will find a way to do this. She has a daughter. But I don’t care. Not my problem. When ex died the wife stole money my husband left for my children. Evil

    • randywallace says:

      Take all of your documents from your divorce to a local family law attorney to discuss your options.

    • Robin says:

      evil is wanting to see a child suffer because you hate your ex husbands wife. Get the paper work you need to prove she stole funds. But wanting to put someone on the street with a child doesn’t make you look good

  57. Cherlyn D. Bell-Wilson says:

    I am disabled 16 years after brain surgery with short term memory and fatigue, my soon to be ex husband is using to claim my incompetence with irrational and false accusations of his cheating, giving me infections that necessitated medical treatment, but with long term memory, he is threatened by the other women I can recall during the mid 70’s, 80’s, 90’s, the place and occasion when he was more than disrespectful before, during and throughout my recovery I documented more than once because he took my notes he denied taking claiming I lost them and didn’t remember where I put them since I had the brain surgery with memory problems. That’s when I knew I had to leave. On Saturday, March or April 25, 2016 or 2017 about 6pm, I went to my house for my medical files I missed taking in haste when I left Monday, August 22, 2016, 2 days after my older brother’s funeral for a hotel in LaPuente I had reserved, then left 2a that next morning for Cypress, Extended Stay America after I realized I was being watched and reported them to the hotel security.

  58. Tana says:

    I have a question?? Me and my ex husband just got divorced in March. I left him do to being secretly mental and physical abused for 7 years to a very controlling man. I left him my house my mother gave me because he had two kids we never had any of our own. So when I moved he didn’t know where I stayed do to the fact I’m scared of him and his family his brother pulled a gun and his dad tried to ram my car. I don’t know what they where told from him because he lies about anything and everything.well in the divorce we settled on that he gets his truck 2015 Silverado and I get the 16 Buick that I always paid monthly on for both cars as I worked as well. Well I recently lost my job and my life went down hill after my big brother passed away in September it’s been ruff well end of October my ex saw me in my car and stole it while I was at gas station the cops would not do anything cause he had a courtpaper from the judge saying he can get it cause I failed to make 2 payments which I would of had that Friday from a friend i never received and paper for court or anything he could of easliy got ahold of me threw my best friend cause her lil sister is with his lil brother. What do I do we are both on the truck and car I need my car I gave him everything and made this divorce easy we didn’t even have to see a judge. I lost out on a good job and he knows this I begged him for my car even was going to give him the money and he won’t give me my car cause he has his new girlfriend driving it. This is not right I have no job or way to get to work if I did do to him taking my car. what do I do? Please help me I need someone to let me know to still have faith that my life can get back to normal.

  59. Dan says:

    I spent countless dollars and filed over 160 motions in a 11 year period to enforce my parenting time. My experience is the Father is guilty before proven innocent and any false claim by your ex can cause you to have to file a motion to enforce. We need family court reform. My penis does not make me less capable to raise children, but the courts are stuck in the Fifties (Wife/Mother only capable of nurturing). There is no cash in the cure. The judges get donations from lawyers to be elected. I pay the court for every motion and still have to prove my innocence, just to have another false claim against me without the courts calling BS. I stopped my fight a year ago as you can’t win, even when the Judge acknowledges Parental Alienation. System show fathers are not in the picture. More would be if the system stopped being bias.

  60. Pingback: How to wreck your injury case | randywallace

  61. Liz_78 says:

    Hey Raymond
    Yes she can get into trouble malicious prosecution if it was a criminal case against you found not guilty not plead down just found not guilty from no crime committed
    If you’re still going in dealing with that evaluator my suggestion is through all of that that you wrote is a lot of is all your side of the story you need facts facts are very important and what you believe the evaluator is doing you can’t do that in court you Gotta be well prepared and you got to get a checklist and you got to think like she thinks the art of war is the know your enemy
    Keep your friends close and your enemies closer and just like you mentioned your friends said it’s only the witch hunt well those friends can go up to testify but they can also be subpoenaed to testify against you
    It’s all with facts and how it’s presented
    Good luck man praying for ya

  62. Pingback: Four Things to Avoid Doing While the Divorce Case Is Ongoinggates 96 | gates 96

  63. Dana Rusin says:

    My husband hired a lawyer for what I don’t know for our divorce we have nothing to fight over. What he did do was remove me from he’s health insurance can he do that before the divorce? Been separated 5 months.

  64. Wilma howdyshell says:

    What about if ur spouse is dating someone else and wants u and ur kids and grandkids out to move her in

  65. Thank you,very much,great information!!!

  66. Cathy says:

    Awesome advice! Thanks

  67. Just because you delete those emails from your computer doesn’t mean the other side isn’t going to get them another way. Thank you for making this such an awesome post!

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